Up, down, up, down.... I don't know how much more my heart can take.
I talked to the CHOP nurse coordinator hoping to hear some good news, after all Alexander's chest grew a lot! However, the talk wasn't as hopeful as I thought it might be. I asked if she has the list of differentials that we got from our specialist and she did. I asked if, after looking at the ultrasounds, they agree that we are dealing with one of those differentials. She said yes. I told her specifically that we were thinking that we might be dealing with TD and asked if they thought so too. She said yes, but obviously they can't determine that until they do further testing. I told her how confused we were since his chest has grown and she didn't really respond. She was wonderful and had a kind, calm, sincere voice. I could probably cry talking to her over the phone about what I ate for lunch.
I now have an appointment on September 15th at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. In one day I will have a fetal echo, fetal ultrasound, meet with a maternal fetal medicine specialist, genetic councilor and medical doctor. Unfortunately, at this time we don't think Jason will join me on this trip. He'll need a good amount of time off after delivery, so it doesn't make sense for us to pay for an extra flight and for him to take the time off. This is obviously not the ideal situation, but my mom will be by my side for the day. :)
At this point, I am so confused at where we should deliver. My mom said we don't need to make the decision now and I completely agree; but let's be serious, I'm over 6 months pregnant! We have to at least talk about the options. I can see a lot of pros with being at CHOP no matter the results of our future tests and measurements.
Logistically, if Alexander has TD, I'm not sure if it makes sense to travel for delivery. CHOP and my OB both said they wouldn't want me flying past 35 weeks, meaning I'd be away from Jason for 4-5 weeks before delivery. Augh! Not sure if I want to do that, even if it means being at CHOP. On the other hand if we have to deal with tragedy, I want to know that the doctors, nurses and staff will be there and that they will know how to support us. CHOP has a grief councilor and they are obviously well equipped to handle situations like this. With that being said, if Alexander has any chance of survival, without a doubt we will be at CHOP.
