Alone

September 17th

So many prayers, so much support and I feel alone.

So many tears fallen for me, for Alexander, and I feel alone.  

Surrounded by family, friends, by toddler smiles and kisses and I feel alone.

I have reached out and women have reached out to me who have dealt with this type of loss, who have been in my shoes and I still feel alone.

Jason even doesn't know Alexander the way I know him, he doesn't feel his kicks and know his wiggles. This experience for Jason is completely different, and I am alone.

The word of God say that He is with us and I still feel alone.

I am alone and it is not just a feeling but a fact. I am Alexander's Mom and the only one who is hurting like this....

....and it is hurting so much.

I am praying a new prayer. I want and need to feel God’s presence, to be surrounded by His love and reminded of it throughout the day. With His presence I know I will feel comfort. I know eventually I will not feel alone.