Week 1 - Fear to Acceptance

Jason and I went for our routine 20 week ultrasound.  I lay on the table while Jason tried to keep Ana occupied. Throughout the exam, the ultrasound technician clicked and measured and told us when not to look so we wouldn’t spoil the surprise of our baby’s gender. She pointed out our baby’s legs, hands, heart, 10 fingers, 10 toes: check, check, check. We were thrilled and happy as could be.

After the ultrasound, we waited for our OB and tried to keep Ana occupied. Our doctor came into the room and asked how I was. I responded as normal, “I feel great!" This pregnancy has been an absolute breeze. No morning sickness, no headaches and I’ve been fully energized and motivated to work out throughout the week. Our OB tactfully informed us that the measurements on our ultrasound we not as she would like. Specifically, she said that our baby’s limbs were measuring small. When I asked what this meant, she said that our baby most likely had a form of dwarfism. I shook my head and I asked if the baby’s limbs could start growing and catch up with where they should be. She showed us a paper that had a couple of numbers on it and explained that there was a ‘significant deviation’ from normal. Our baby’s head was measuring 1 month ahead of its torso and its limbs were a month behind. Completely blindsided by this news, we left the office with a referral to a specialist. Throughout the next week I grieved over the image of our perfect child; of our seamlessly normal life. Stronger feelings entered my mind as I thought of acceptance, future teasing and limitations that our baby would face. I began to research dwarfism the day after we got the news, but the first couple of days I found very little online. Finally, I found the website for Little People of America, which gave great information and parent support. I also found fantastic blogs written by moms of average height who have beautiful little children with dwarfism. The pictures of these families and the stories that surrounded them filled me with love and a new vision for our future. All of a sudden, height was not important at all and I quickly accepted what was ahead. I learned that the most common form of dwarfism is call achondroplasia and occurs in 1 out of 40,000 births. I couldn’t help but think of other disorders and how autism effects 1 in every 60 children, down syndrome is 1 in 650 children, and dwarfism, so extremely rare and off our radar, is now what we are learning about. It gave me so much hope that only very rare conditions of dwarfism were also pared with intellectual disabilities. I imagined our child: happy, heathy and smart; just shorter than the rest. It was a lot to wrap our heads around but I honestly think we were adjusting well. Now we were just hoping for a diagnosis of a healthy baby with achondroplasia.